Check it out!
Remember the “Wild and Crazy Guys” Steve Martin and Dan Akroid made famous on Saturday Night Live?
In an effort to attract girls they dressed up in plaid mismatched suits and hit the town with index fingers pointing upward, arms waving saying, “Check it out!” It didn’t get them any girls, and the cheesy phrase “check it out” doesn’t work in ads either.
People simply won’t check something out just for the sake of “checking it out”. They want to know what’s in it for them before they will invest time looking at your offer.
You’ll draw more attention by leading with the unique qualities of what you’re promoting. Tell about the savings, prizes, and sure-fire ways to attract girls you offer. They’ll want to check it out when you let them know what’s in it for them.
Put the goodies up front and don’t waste words with cheesy clichés like ”check it out”, and it’s close cousin “once again”.